STEPHANIE WILLIAMS PLAY THERAPY, LLC
  • Home
  • Parents
  • Professionals
    • Trainings
    • Agency Trainings
    • Registration
    • Cancellations
    • Supervision & Consultation
  • Contact
  • Blog

It's About the Relationship

11/15/2017

0 Comments

 
The longer I do this work, the more I believe in the power of the child-therapist relationship.  I used to give a lot of importance to finding the perfect technique or intervention for a client.  I also felt it was kind of vain or conceited to attribute much of the change I was seeing in my clients to myself.  But I now understand that change will not happen if the child-therapist relationship is not solid and trustworthy.

I heard a quote from Garry Landreth recently that spoke volumes to me: “Children are not free to change until they are safe enough not  to change.”  A vital part of the therapeutic relationship is accepting children exactly as they are.  This feels counterintuitive sometimes:  children are referred to us specifically because someone thinks they need to change.  But the more I’m able to approach children with understanding, empathy and a non-judgmental attitude, the more that will benefit the child and our relationship.  And I know I don’t do this perfectly by any means - I can get frustrated at times when I see a kid who was progressing take a giant step back.  But I continue to put my trust in the therapeutic process and relationship.

A lot of times we feel pressure to “fix” kids and to do so quickly, whether this comes from our own internal pressure or other adults in the child’s life.  And I know I have definitely been in situations where I’ve become frustrated by the lack of progress that a child is making.  But there are a few truths that I like to remind myself of when I am feeling this way:

  1. The problem/concern that the child is struggling with probably didn’t occur overnight and it’s not likely to go away that quickly either.
  2. Many of the children we work with have been betrayed/hurt by adults in their lives who they have trusted.Why should I assume that this child will quickly trust me, especially with sharing their innermost fears and experiences?
  3. Change happens in different ways and looks very different in every client.A lot of times if I stand back and look at a client’s situation more objectively I am able to see more clearly where progress is happening.

The therapeutic relationship and the trust clients put in us is truly a gift.  Sometimes the relationship is moving right along in a few sessions.  Other times it has taken months for me to get to the point with a client where they can be vulnerable, real and open to change.  All of these clients I treasure.

If you want to dig more into this topic, I suggest reading Garry Landreth’s Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship.  I also highly recommend having a good clinical supervisor so you can process your own therapeutic relationships.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Stephanie is a play therapist, and also a wife and mom of two boys.  One of her superpowers is her ability to engage young children - and adults! - in playing and using their imaginations. 

    Archives

    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

More information

Play Therapy Services
Trainings
On-site Trainings
Supervision

QUESTIONS?

Contact Stephanie
Email: stephanie@playtherapystlmo.com
Copyright 2019 by Stephanie Williams Play Therapy, LLC